Annyong, Hello, or Hola

So, on August 19, I turned the big 2-2. To celebrate, BBro let (aka MADE) me make all the choices about what we would do for the day. Our first stop was going to be the Museum of Modern Art at Olympic Park that we had seen the last time they were there. They were having a Pop Art exhibit, which made me super excited, and I was looking forward to some culture. So I made the hour-plus trek past Jamsil to Olympic Park, only to find out when we arrived… that the museum was closed. Typical. Things in Korea, apparently, only close one day a month. It can be any day they want, they don’t have to close on Sundays, they can just pick a day at random, and that’s the one day a month that they’re closed. So it would be fairly typical that this would be the day. Luckily there was a Coffee Bean, one of my favorite places in the world, so all was not lost.

Determined to find something cultural to do, we trundled on to Gwangnam, to the CineCube, the arthouse theatre where we saw INLAND EMPIRE. First we went down to the basement, which is the theatre level
(Oh yeah, this building is a theatre in the basement, some galleries and stuff, one floor of restaurants, and then floors 2 through 30 or so are the British and Japanese Embassies in Korea, and outside there is a giant metal hammering man. It’s quite a place). Alas, in keeping with how the day was going, the only movie playing was Sommersturm, in German with Korean subtitles. That’s ok, there’s a lot more to do in this building. Next we tried to find ArtCube, which we assumed would be some sort of gallery, or something. We finally deciphered some signs that pointed out the direction of ArtCube, and followed said directions… Directly into a wall. I don’t know, maybe they renovated or something. Whatever, up another floor, we’ll try something else. There’s an art archive. Give me something, anything. But guess what? Closed. Dammit Korea, you’re closed one frigging day a month, why does it have to be my birthday!? We satisfied ourselves of the archive by peering into the windows. So, OK, we clearly wouldn’t be getting into anything in the building so we just looked at the sculptures around the main floor. Like these ones. Sheep or something. And the main plaza has a pretty cool floor too, so… There was that.

Anyway, food always cheers us up, so we found a restaurant in the same building, called Taco Factory. Now, Taco Factory wasn’t bad, by any means, but it certainly was... Interesting. As only Korean food can be. This was probably the first meal I’ve had here that didn’t come with kimchi, but they did serve their tacos with pickles. Anyway, it’s different than Mexican tacos, is what I’m saying. Also, we got this gem from BBro: “I don’t know whether to say annyong, hello, or hola!” (The waitress was clearly Korean, and in no way remotely Mexican, by the way).

Perhaps the best part of our evening came next, and it was a completely accidental find. We were wandering around Jongno, looking for something, ANYTHING to do, and we found an amazing (underground) bookstore called Kyobo. We browsed around there for a long time, it has an amazing DVD section, and lots of foreign English books too. The DVDs are really cheap, but we can’t play them on DVD players at home. Books meanwhile are ridiculously expensive. The best part of the store though was when we left – they took the creepiness of HomePlus and multiplied it by four. When we were walking toward the door, no less than FOUR women bowed to us and wished us well. We were just shopping for books! We’re not freaking royalty. But ok, you can bow to us.

At this point, it was getting late, so we trundled ourselves home.
We saw this on the way, though. It’s some sort of memorial for a King, or someone. It’s really interesting, I think, to see things like this in the middle of the city. It’s so old-looking, and traditional, and colorful, and all around it, like you can see in the picture, everything is so modern and gray and dirty. That dichotomy really sums up Seoul for me.

Lotte World Adventure

August 15
Lotte World Adventure!

Korean Independence Day fell conveniently on a Wednesday, so we had the day off from school. We had already planned to go to Lotte World Adventure theme park in Jamsil, and I guess we didn't realize until we got there that, oh yeah, everyone else in the country has today off of work too. And they ALL came to Lotte World. So we waited in line for tickets for about half an hour, and we didn't even get a foreigners discount! (LIES, Lotte World Website! Lies!). Then we went through the gates and.... Holy frig Lotte World is cool!! We started our "Adventure" in the indoor part of the park: it's not just rides and games and stuff, but every square inch of the place is decked out. Some of it looks like jungle, and there are dinosaurs and moneys and stuff. In the middle of the bottom floor is a skating rink, and its open to the top floor, so you can look down on people skating, and shopping on the other floors. Around the perimiter of the huge building these giant faux-hot-air balloons go around, giving you a view of the whole place.

Our first ride, we decided, should be the French Revolution. It's a roller coaster, and there's nothing particularly French about it. But since when have Korean names for anything make sense. We were super pumped about it, and got in the line. 10 minutes pass, 20 minutes, 30 minutes... And then we finally get to.... The sign that says there's an hour wait from this point. We kept ourselves amused with our surroundings though, laughing at the rulse for the ride (No drunken ride, Not allowed medical sensitivity, Not allowed pregnant) and the crazy Engrish t-shirts (my favorite said ETHAN HAWKE: A Lucky Strike). Eventually we get to the front of the line, and onto the French Revolution. And it was so worth the wait! It has an upside down loop, and some of it is in the dark, and some of it is in a crazy-lit-up-seizure tunnel!

After the French Revolution, we got some lunch from a "Danish" hot-dog vendor. I didn't know hotdogs came from Denmark, but sure. Mine I think had friend onions on it, but Alaina's...oh my. Her "cheese dog" was a hollow bun, into which the lady squirted bright orange "cheese" from a bottle. She filled the hole, and squirted it all over the top. Then she took the hotdog, and sliiiiid it into the hole in the bun. And then back out. And in. And out. And in and out. And in and out and in and out. And in. I've never seen anything so filthy in my life. Apparently it tasted about the same. The cheese, she said, was "tangy."

Rejuvinated (ie: disgusted) from lunch, we next wanted to try the Conquistador, which is that boat that swings back and forth, only this one is all did up like a pirate ship. And the lady who runs it is dressed like a pirate. About an hour into our wait for the Conquistador we were conveniently placed viewing the "World Carnival Parade." This is, I imagine, what a parade might look like if it were people entirely with the offspring of Miss America contests and drag queens. They all have the most elaborate costumes, covered in head to toe with feathers. One lady's headdress was so big that it was on wheels! And it had handles for her to steer it around. I didn't notice that the parade wasn't particularly "worldly" until BBro noticed the flag of Brazil coming. And the people who were supposed to be representing Brazil? Some Korean. Some white. Only they have different colored feathers to differentiate them from the other countries. The parade also had people playing drums, and flinging ribbons, and a guy on stilts, and... Everything you can imagine. Apparently this is how Koreans see people from European and North and South American countries. It was awesome. Along the same lines was the "Salsa Band" called "Rio Samba", but its entirely Korean women, in sparkly fluorescent jumpsuits. They were actually pretty good.

Anyway, after the Conquistador, we explored a little bit, the indoor "Adventure" theme park, and the outdoor "Magic Island" one. We decided, finally, to try the bumper cars. The wait here was probably the longest one yet, but at least we got to watch kids smashing in to each other. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, then us! We kept being the first people in line: they'd stop letting people on the rides just before us. Every time! Suspicious, I think. Bumper cars, of course were super fun. Josh vs. Brittany vs. Alaina vs. 9 Korean children. Guess who won?

We didn't have enough time to wait in line for any more rides, so we tried to find the Folk Museum. On the way there, though, from the top floor, we saw down into the park where a group of people who were dressed as bears or turtles or soemthing, it was hard to tell from far away. They had on big costumes, anyway, and they were dancing around and playing instruments. And what they were playing? Like a Virgin, which in my opinion, is NOT appropriate for a children's theme park; but then again I don't make the rules in Korea. The Folk Museum is actually a lot less lame than one might think. It's got some artifacts and traditional costumes, but the best part for me was the model village, which had THOUSANDS of tiny people all dressed up, and models of palaces and temples and other buildings.

Since the lines were so long, Lotte World was sort of disappointing, as a first-timer. But it was definitely awesome enough to entice me into going back on a day when it's not so crazy busy.


This is a donkey that pooped out prizes for 1000won. I won a gummy candy. Delicious.

Interesting Weekend ^^

August 9

I promised Naomi I'd go to Ladies' Night in Itaewon with her (since I told her I would before, but fell asleep instead). I was just about to head home to get ready after my last class ended at 6:35, but Henna stopped me before I got out.

"Josh teacher, you didn't finish your online reports for your Academy Classes." I did. Twice. I had to figure them out by myself since no one would help me, only after I had finished them all the first time, did someone tell me that there's a different way to do the Academy Class reports, so I did them that way too.

Anyway, she says "You didn't fill out their reading progress reports."

"Actually, Henna, I only teach reading to one class, and if you look a little closer -- yup! There they are!"

"Well, then write about... their... listening!"

What? Are you serious? Their parents are paying a MILLION won a month to get reports on their children's listening skills? Anyway, I just did it, and got out of there. But in the time it took for me to get them done, a HUGE storm came, and on the walk home, the water was up to my ankles. August is monsoon season in Korea. So I arrived at home looking like a drowned rat, and got changed and ready to go. We got a taxi to Itaewon -- my favorite place so far in Seoul <3 -- and went to Subway. Because clearly we can't get that at home. It's shockingly similar to Subway in Canada, except in a combo (a "set," here) you only get one cookie instead of two. Which is not really that interesting. And apparently they don't have the coldcut sub.

Then we made our way to some bar, because ladies drink free. Naomi's friend had met us at Subway, and they were really thirsty. Drinks for men were 5000won, which is sort of a lot, but they mis them pretty strong. Anyway, not much happened at this bar, so we moved across the street. It turns out that the restaurant we went to on Canada is by day a semi-classy restaurant that serves a meal that is nothing but a plate of sausages, and by night is a really happening dance club. It's called Helios, and it is... certainly not The Axe.

We didn't have too hardcore a night, because we were saving up for.......

August 10

So how rediculous are my co-workers? Naomi planned a birthday party and invited everyone from work. She made a reservation at 8:00 at Carne Station (Meat Station... delicious), which is in Hongdae, a subway ride away. I usually work until 8:50, but my last class was cancelled, so I finised at 8:05. Either way, I was bound to be super late. I had made plans to meet Amber and we were going to go together, since I had no idea where it was. At 8:05 I left work, and got on the bus home, so I wouldn't be *as* late for the party. Anna was on the bus with me, and she said she was going to skip Naomi's thing and go out with some other people she knew. Then when we were walking up the hill to our building, we saw Amber, all dressed up, and leaving. "Sorry," she says, "I have to go meet this girl." Ok, whatev. I can find it on my own. So I trundle up to my apartment, and start to get ready. Although not very seriously, because I didn't really want to go by myself. Then Anna knocks on my door. "Ready to go?" WTF!?? Of course, I wasn't, but I brushed my teeth, and we set out. We waited for the bus. Then waited. Waited. Waited. When it finally came, and we got on, we saw Claire, one of the Korean teachers from school. Who, by the way, got fired because she's getting married, and they wouldn't give her 5 days off for a honeymoon.

So we get off the bus at Jongno -- I don't know which number. We tried, from here, to get a cab, but for the only time ever in Seoul, we're not being run down by them from all sides. We did finally see one, and the guy pulled over and stopped, then looked at us, and drove away. By this point, about 10:00, we finally accepted that we missed the dinner reservation, so we went to a 7-11 for dinner. There isn't a huge selection of huge eats at 7-11 anyway, but when it's a Korean 7-11, the pickings are even slimmer. I had a bag of Vienna Sausages -- that's how slim. Then a bunch of creepy looking guys went by, so we ran away, and (finally) got a cab. We got to Hongdae, and found Amber and her friend at KFC (which surprised no one), and we set off to the Tin Pan, where I assumed we'd be meeting the birthday girl.

The Tin Pan is a nice-ish downstairs bar, within which I discovered my new favorite drink: a Midori Sour. I don't know what's in it, but it's neon green, and it glows in the dark, and it's good as hell. About 30 seconds after we got there, this gross drunk guy started hitting on Anna, trying to talk her up. It was awkward. Eventually Naomi came to Tinpan, and it was at this exact moment that Amber and Anna (and Amber’s Russian friend Tanya) decided they were going to go to the next place. Since I still, at this point, assumed that the whole gang was going to meet later, I left with the people I arrived with. We went a few blocks away to a club called FF, it was pretty sketchy, but the 10000won cover came with a free drink. We were, at some point during the evening, expecting to see an “Irish” band that Amber knew. Before that, though, there were several Korean bands. None of which were particularly memorable. Ryan and Danny came from work, and they were super drunk, so Anna, Amber and Tanya and I went outside for a while. While we were there, we met Amber’s other friend, Sandra Pollock (who, several drinks later, I would keep reminding that her name sounded just like Sandra Bullock!)

Outside of the bar is where the real scene is. There were so many interesting people to talk to out there. None of them are actually from Seoul (obviously, because if they were, they wouldn’t speak English), so there was lots of interesting conversations. Two Irish people, and their friend from Texas who pretended to be Irish were particularly nice. At around 4:00, maybe, I feel Sandra Pollock poke me in the back, and I turn around to see her surreptitiously beckoning for me to save her from – the creepy guy from Tin Pan who hit on Anna! He was drunk about 6 hours ago, although he didn’t seem quite as desperate then as he did now. He was sweating everywhere and stumbling over. I took the hint: “Hey, Sandra, I think we have to go now!,” and I pulled her down the street away from the guy. We went around the corner to the 7-11 (all the while, I asked her if she knew who her name sounded JUST LIKE!), and we got some bottles of soju.

So we continued our party outside until about 5:00 we decided to catch a cab home, and arrived there about 5:30.

The next day, though –
August 11

Was mostly a sleep in. Late in the evening, I met BBro and we went to a restaurant near Cheyongyangni, which, it turns out is our new favorite place. After our meal (she ordered a “set,” which contained pretty much one of everything on the menu), we decided to go to HomePlus. We walked, because a week before I had tried to take the bus there with Naomi, and we got lost. Keep in mind it’s only about 3 stops from our building, and we got lost. We took the bus all the way to the last stop, just like I did on my own, because she was SO SURE that “this is the one that goes around.” So this time we were walking, that way we for sure wouldn’t miss it. It only takes about 20 minutes to get there from Cheyongyangni station, and it’s open 24 hours, so if I ever need a shopping fix in the middle of the night…

Anyhoo, we did our shopping (speakers for BBro, a blowdrier for me), and we were ready to leave and make our purchases. We were heading for the escalators, since we were a few floors up from where we came in. We were just about to step through the bars to the escalator, when this security guard/guy who bows at people when they come off the escalator stopped us. We had to pay at that floor, somewhere. Each floor is like its own separate store. WE WERE (inadvertently) STEALING FROM HOME PLUS! Horribly embarrassed, we found the place to pay, and then tried to avoid the bowing escalator guy by going to the other side of the store. So we walked past THAT escalator guy, but it was an up, instead of a down, so we decided to check it out, so we went up to the fourth floor. It was… a parking lot? Weird. So we kept going up. Fifth floor – parking lot. Sixth floor – parking lot. Seventh floor – parking lot. So then we had to go a-l-l the way back down.

BBro went home on the Subway from HomePlus, and I made the walk back home by myself. Right outside of Cheyongyangni Station, though, this woman walked right toward me, and started talking. I took my headphones out, almost as if I was planning on understanding what she was saying. She was talking away, in Korean, and I was making my go-to “I don’t know” gesture. I’m about to walk away, and she grabs me and says “sexy, sexy,” and point in the distance somewhere. WHAT?! Was I being picked up by a Korean hooker? I didn’t even consider the possibility, because the woman was pretty old, and not nice at all in the face area. So I start walking away, and she just follows me, saying “sexy, sexy!” So, right around here is where I almost broke into a run, but I think she maybe got the idea that I wasn’t interested in a gross, old, Korean prostitute…

Insa Dong

Insa Dong is the place where people (foreigners) go if they want to buy something “cultural” from Korea, perhaps to give as Christmas presents, and what have you. I say “cultural” in quotation marks, because although many of the things that they sell are (stereo-)typically Korean, such as paper fans, traditional musical instruments, reproductions of ancient weapons, and of course the omnipresent cell-phone charms, many, of not most, of these items sold by the street vendors are proudly emblazoned with “MADE IN CHINA.” They don’t even try to hide the fact that they’re totally selling out their heritage. As the guy from Suwon English Village told me: “Koreans love to save money.”

Getting to Insa Dong proved to be a bit of an ordeal. I took the Subway from Cheyongyangni, to Jongno-(sam)-ga. It’s easy enough to get to the station, but at this particular station, there are three lines that run though, and the exit to Insa Dong is at the far end of the last one. So, I have to walk from the farthest end of the first station, all the way through the second, to the farthest end of the third. It seems to me that it rather defeats the purpose of taking the subway, if you still have to walk about 25 minutes to get where you want to go.
Even though it’s secretly trashy, Insa Dong is still a pretty cool place to look around. My favorite parts of the area, though, were the ones that weren’t trying to be “cultural.” There is a really cool shopping mall, which is really just a giant spiral ramp, with the stores on the outside edge, and open on the inside, so that you can look down into the courtyard below. There were some really interesting stores, leather crafts, jewelry, accessories, and the like. There were also, tucked along beside staircases, and in corners, some really interesting pieces of installation art.

While Insa Dong is probably most known for its street vendors, we saw some other really cool (and scary!) things while we were there. The streets are closed on the weekends to vehicular traffic, because there are so many people. While we were pressing our way through the crowds, we saw a group of people protesting. There were two people with hoods on, and their wrists and ankles tied together, and then to each other. They were being led down the street by a man in an army uniform holding a machine gun! The gunman represented the Chinese army, and the hooded people North Korean refugees, although they clearly were not (even though we couldn’t see their faces, they spoke English, as did the girl who explained to us what was happening, and most of the protesters were white). The scenario: as many as 300,000 people defected from North Korea in the last several years, and fled to China to hide. Since China won the bid for the Olympic Games, they have been under pressure to uphold International Law, and so they have been repatriating these defectors; or, they have them arrested or killed (if they are deported back to North Korea, they’ll essentially be killed anyway). The goal of the protests is "No Olympics in Beijing Without Human Rights for North Koreans.” The protest started 444 days before the Olympics are set to start, and it happens every weekend.

We followed the protesters for a while, and they eventually led us to a sort of street stage, where there was a performance of drumming and traditional Korean instruments. It seemed to be a school group, maybe, since they were pretty young. There were some people dancing, too, and at one point this guy was wearing a hat with a really long ribbon on it, and he’d wave his head around, and the ribbon would make big loops in the air. It looked really wacky.

After that, we went to my new favorite place, which is called Ice Berry. For a little taste of how amazing and bizarre it is, go to http://www.iceberry.com/ and click on the pink button. It’s really something special. I’ll wait –





Ice Berry is sort of ice cream, except it is actually ice, and cream. It’s a big bowl of chipped ice, and then ice cream on top, and you get it with different toppings (fruit, chocolate, cereal???); I had strawberries on mine. It’s a variation of a really popular Korean dessert called Bingsu, except that Bingsu usually has red beans on it, so it’s a little off-putting, but probably delicious.

Vacation!

July 27-31
We have a vacation from July 27-31 (which includes Saturday and Sunday, which I never work, but nonetheless count among my already paltry number of vacation days for the year). So BBro and I made plans (aka she made all the plans, and I did nothing) to go to Busan for the weekend.
Busan (also, for some reason, spelled Pusan) is toward the south-east of Korea, and is the second biggest city in the country. We wanted to have as much time as we could in the city, so we woke up bright and early (5:30 for me) and met at Seoul Station, where the KTX trains leave from. BBro was about half an hour late, as one of us ALWAYS is, but we still had lots of time to transfer from the subway to the normal train, and find our gate and have breakfast (oreos and canned ice coffee – breakfast of champions). So then we get on the train for our long, long, long journey. We got some crackers from the cart on the train, which had something creamy on them (cream? Maybe? Butter?), which is pretty gross, and yet completely typical for Korea. The ride itself is pretty uneventful, but the train goes about 800 km/h, which is pretty cool.

So our first shop was some place that was supposed to have amazing shopping. Alas, it only had women’s clothing stores, which sort of blew for me. But it did have a store called BEYONCE which is amazing. But overall, not good. I also tripped on a table at lunch. Then we went to the Museum of Modern Art, on account of I love modern art <3<3<3<3 Fiona Valverde <3<3<3 But it was closed, until the next day when a new exhibit opened. OMG I hate vacation, everything that happens is just like in stupid Seoul. So, back on the subway again, and – oh, the first time we tried to get on, we thought we could use out T-money cards from Seoul, so we swiped them, and….walked right in to the turnstiles. Awkward! So this time we knew better and we got our tickets from the machine. I wanted to see if anyone would notice if we got child tickets (half price), so I pressed the button, and this random woman FREAKED OUT and tried to “help us,” by buying us adult tickets. While BBro was choking to death.

Anyway, when we got off our (full price) subway ride, this crazy old man started talking to us – instead of just giggling and pointing, as is usually the case. But he was about 110 years old, so he was clearly senile. He told us about how he was in the Korean military, and he was the English interpreter when they were in the US. His English was actually pretty good, up until the point when he asked “Can you understand my English,” and we stared at him all agape; for some reason we had understood everything previous, but not this. So we ruined an old man’s self-esteem. Anyhoo, he still decided he wanted to take us wherever we were going, which was the Millak fish village. It took us FOREVER to find it; he decided he had to go home, and gave us some horrible directions, but we had a map anyway. So we go in this grody looking building, that’s just tank after tank after tank of fish, and shellfish, and SHARKS, and some weird tubules. We got two different kinds of fish from a nice lady. Now, I love sushi, but seeing the fish have their heads cut off and skin cut off, and then put in front of me to eat… I wasn’t that hungry. I recovered though, and it was actually really good. Clearly the freshest fish possible ever in the world.

After that we went to this amusement park called Me World, that we saw perched atop a hill. It had a roller coaster and a ferris wheel, and a flume ride (as well as these crazy animals that you can drive around the park), and its incredibly amazing. Then we got a cab and tried to take us to the hotel the website itinerary suggested, which it turns out IS NOT EVEN A HOTEL AT ALL. It’s some sort of spa.
Plus, I got in trouble there because I didn’t put my shoes in the “encampment for shoes.” So, we have to find another place to stay, even though this one took about an hour to find (the cab driver didn’t know where it was, then we tried to find it on our own, then an old man [so nice in Busan! But crazy] told us where it was). The second place we found was… Who knows – no English name. A love motel. But we didn’t stay there long, we walked down the street to where the restaurants are, and this man ATTACKED US, trying to get us to eat at his restaurant. So we did (But a woman using the same “advertising” approach, for the same restaurant, made a kid cry). We got some clams, which the guy cooked at our table, and they were AMAZING. So winner.

Day two started much the same way that day one ended: with a huge seafood meal. Apparently its all they have in Busan, since it’s right on the coast. We got this octopus and onion omlette. Which sounds bizarre, but is actually pretty delicious. Except for it comes with a bowl of tiny dried fish. Not so hot.
Then we went to the Yonggungsa Temple, which is a pretty nice place once you get down A HUNDRED AND EIGHT FRIGGING STAIRS. Which might be fine on a normal day, but when the temperature is the highest its been so far this year, and the humidity is about 10000%, its not THAT fun. But it was really interesting to see the temple, and the monks, and the weird underground crypt that people pray in, and all the Buddha statues (I rubbed a belly for good luck!) that people make offerings to (generally milk, it seems, which might not be the best idea on this hot day), and the…. Gift shop? I thought monks took a vow of poverty. And this shit is expensive too. BBro got a lovely “authentic” (ie: it has a “made in China” sticker) Buddha paperweight snowglobe. The gold coins offered to Buddha in it? American pennies. You stay classy, Yonggungsa Temple…

Also, there are Swastikas everywhere at Temples. Interesting…

Next we went to the most amazing aquarium. It had everything I’d ever heard of, and then some. And penguins! And also this live show, which had a mermaid, which was awesome, and then a pirate, who was horrible and disgusting, so we left at that part. We saw the hugest turtles and sharks and jellyfish, and the whole thing was underground. Then we went on the hilariously cheesy “simulation ride” which is like a roller coaster, only it doesn’t roll (or coast, for that matter), it just sort of jostles around in front of a screen of an under-the-sea scene. Awesome, nonetheless. Oh, and we had Bennigans for dinner too, which had good bread, but was otherwise fairly disgusting. It’s because they couldn’t decide whether they wanted to have Korean food or American food, so they tried to come up with some horrible, soggy hybrid. One way or the other, folks.

After all that – it’s the longest, narrowest restaurant I’ve ever seen, it takes like 45 minutes to walk from one end to the other – we went to the Mipo Harbour for a cruise! While we were waiting in line, it started to sprinkle a little bit. No worries, the boat was going to be IN water anyway, so we figured it wouldn’t be affected much. When we got on the boat, it was pouring pretty hard, but we were still pumped, we weren’t going to let it get us down.
By the time we set off, though, it was the CRAZIEST, most hardcore storm I had ever seen. The boat was rocking so hard, and rain was coming in EVERYWHERE. We were sitting in the front row, and the canopy didn’t quite make it all the way, so we might have gotten a little extra, even. At one point the driver announced something, but we ignored him… until a few minutes later I looked back and every! single! person! was gone! Apparently there’s a downstairs to the boat, and he told them to go down. Only we couldn’t hear or see what was going on. Hi! We’re tourists! The boat ride was so intense, and the islands we went to see were barely visible because the rain was so hard and the waves were so high. But since it’s Korean weather, the ride back was perfectly smooth and fine.

After that terrifying few hours, we tried to find a mall that the website itinerary had recommended, and the amazing-sounded Horrorwood, which is to be found within said mall. First problem: the mall’s name is completely wrong in the itinerary. Problem the second: Horrorwood isn’t in the mall. At all! Ugh. Never trust that stupid itinerary. That’s twice now. Dejected, we took the train to Gyeongju (2 hours), and then a cab to the Sarangchae Guest House (ok, itinerary, you get one more chance). Since BBro’s director had cancelled our reservation, instead of confirming it, it was, of course, full. Luckily we found the All-in Motel fairly close by, which had this cracked-out Sauna Shower, which I used to about 45 minutes – which is a bad BAD idea. I was so steamy at the end, I could barely breathe. And it had the HUGEST bed, which led to a good sleep…….

Day three! We left the All-in (and its huge rack of porn), and found a restaurant for breakfast. We add cold noodles and sat on the floor (we’re practically Korean!), and then walked to a park called Daereungwon. This whole area of Gyeongju is a UNESCO World Heritage Site, which makes it pretty cool. The first sight was a group of tombs of former rulers, who are buried, and then on top are HUGE mounds, like man-made grassy mountains. They bury husbands and wives next to each other, and it totally makes their graves look like boobs… Anyway, they excavated one of them, and you can walk into it. The guy in this grave is living in style! Er… Dying in style? Well, already dead in style, I suppose. Anyway, his tomb is pimped out – air conditioned. Some of the artifacts they found are in cases around the tomb, they’re pretty interesting. The kings must have always had sore backs, they had to wear so much bling. This was also the site of my favorite moment in Korea
Brittany: Hi! You…Take…Picture? Us? Here?
Guy: Sure, ok, where do you want to stand?
[We pose]
Brittany: Gamsahamnida
Guy: …I’m Chinese…

Bahaha. It still makes me laugh, to think about it. “Asians all look the same,” she tries to reason. Anyway, when we had walked out the end of the park and were where we started our morning, we asked a tour guide where to find out next stop, the Cheomseongdae Observatory, “Sure, just go back to the other entrance, and ….” Of course.


A long walk later, we found it, and it was…Frankly, a lot less cool than I thought it would be. It’s pretty much just a stone tower. And not even a really big one. It’s pretty old, but still, I was expecting more. Then we saw a famous forest… an ice storage room… where a palace used to be… And then Anapji Pond, a huge pond with a bunch of buildings around it, which was actually quite stunning. The king who had it built wanted to use it as a place to breed rare and exotic animals. Now people go there to have picnics.

Next we took the bus to Bulguksi Temple, which is the most famous temple in the country, and houses many of South Korea’s national treasures (Dongdaemun is national treasure number one, haha suckers). The walk to this temple didn’t have as many tacky gifts, but it had about 50 people selling corndogs. Everything leading up to the Temple is horrible and tacky, but then once you get there, its huge and breathtaking.
It’s just gigantic, open rooms one after another, and then the ones that are closed in have row upon row of paper lanters, and interesting artifacts. But, alas, they have a “photo prohibition,” according to their signs. We skipped our last stop, a Grotto, and instead went back toward the station. We stopped at a huge bakery that had about 40 bakers working, and they all make little breads filled with red bean. The first bite I thought it tasted ok, but turns out that no, it’s horrible and disgusting. Good thing we bought 20 of them. To get that taste out of our mouths, we went to So-and-sos Yogurt Ice Cream (that’s not its real name, I just have a bad memory). We asked for yogurt ice cream, and they said no!? So we pointed at the menu, emblazoned with Yogurt Ice Cream, and pretty much nothing else (since it’s a Yogurt Ice Cream store). Still no. Point to the giant picture of ice cream? No. Point to the ice cream machine that’s clearly right there? Another no. Man, they really did not want to sell us ice cream.

So, we just went to the station, and had a heck of a time trying to buy tickets. But eventually we got them, and even did our transfer (fairly) successfully (Oh my gosh! Is this it? I can’t tell if this is it! Should we get off? What if this isn’t it? I’ll go look! I can’t tell if this is it! There’s no sign!). We arrived back in Seoul quite late. All in all, quite the successful trip!

July Recap

Some stuff I missed…

-School is ridiculous: I teach 8 classes on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and 4 classes on Tuesday and Thursday. This includes 4 classes of Wake Up! 6B (2 twice a week and 2 thrice a week), 2 classes of Wake Up! 5B (1 twice a week and 1 thrice a week), 1 class of Wake Up! 2A (twice a week), and1 class each of Carnival 5, Odyssey 3B and 4B and CNN (each three times a week), and one class of Vocabulary (twice a week), and one class of art (once a week). Confusing? You have no idea. And this was only before summer camp started (July 23rd, and it’s still going…), which meant another 2 classes (one reading and one writing) every day. That’s 10 classes on M-W-F, which basically means a 12 hour day. But somehow this still equals less classes then I’m supposed to teach, somehow, so I don’t make any overtime pay… I don’t remember this from the contract.

-The kids are ridiculous: They’re… Not that smart. Also, a lot of them think I’m Tom, the teacher who taught them before me, As in they never noticed he left. Keep in mind that I look nothing like Tom. He’s in his later 20s, and he’s British. Many of my classes have 12 kids, when the majority of the other classes have about 6. The only thing I really like about them is sometimes they say stupid things, and I laugh at them. Examples: There’s this poster of farm animals on the wall of one classroom, but instead of chicken it says cock, so there are endless variations: “I eat cock all the time,” “I don’t like the taste of cock” … Luckily I still find this funny. Another day I was teaching action words, jump, talk, etc. We got to CLAP, and I said it and clapped my hands, and asked them to repeat. Asians often have trouble differentiating between L and R sounds (they have the same symbol in Korean), so I got a room full of kids clapping and shouting “CRAP CRAP.” Finally, there’s this one sort of fat kid, and his Koean name is Chun Ki Bum.

-The weather… is ridiculous: It is SO HOT all the time, but the real killer is the humidity. It never goes down. Even when it rains, which is a lot, since summer is monsoon season, it still feels like it’s about 10 000 degrees.

-Movie theatres… Guess what? Ridiculous. We tried to see Lady Chatterley. Lordy, what an ordeal. We didn’t want to try to explain to a person what we wanted, so we attempted to work a machine to get tickets. First we had to figure out which one was Lady Chatterley in Korean letters. Then I couldn’t figure out the time in 24-hour military time. Then we got through that and though we were getting tickets, but it asked us… Something. Still don’t know. So then we got in the line to talk to a person. But it turns out you need to have a number to wait in that line. So we went to the line for the numbers and waited. Got a number. And then waited in the other line. And got our tickets without too much trouble. Except: its reserved seating at theatres in Korea, and the seats we wanted we reserved on the machine, even though we didn’t get tickets. Thankfully the 2.5 hour French drama isn’t that popular.

-Itaewon: not that ridiculous, it’s actually pretty cool. We went to Itaewon for Canada Day, because there’s a Canadian tavern, where we didn’t go, in the end. It’s called “the most exotic place in Seoul,” because it’s… not exotic at all. To us. It’s where a lot of foreign people live, and it’s a pretty cool part of the city. We saw a guy wearing a Canadian flag, and (I assume) nothing else. Good to know he’s here giving Korean people a horrible, horrible impression of Canadians.

-Food: sometimes ridiculous, sometimes pretty good. Other than the obvious (noodles that move) there is some weird food stuff. Pizza, for example, has potato on it, and corn. And it’s served with pickles. And at Pizza School, a regular sized pizza is 5000 won, but at Pizza Hut, a personal pizza is like 23000 won! WTF!! On the good side, though, there’s a really strange abundance of fried chicken. EVERYWHERE sells it. It’s so popular here, yet everyone is so thin. It’s no fair. There are also a lot of restaurants where you grill meat right on your table top, it’s quite delicious. And super cheap. And there’s a really delicious bean paste that is much more delicious than it sounds. And SO much garlic. South Korea is the #1 consumer of garlic in the whole world! Smelly!

-Shopping: yeah… pretty ridiculous. The “department stores” here are, on average, 12 stories tall. Stores like Lotte have a grocery store on one (or more) floors, department stores on several floors, restauramts on some floors, etc. Doota, on the other hand is 12 floors of pretty much all clothes (and one weird dollar store section – 1000won, as the case may be), and its pretty amazing. Then there’s the Technomart. The first few stores is sporting good, clothes, LUSH (!), and some other stuff. Then the next 9 or so are ALL electronics. There’s an entire floor of nothing but cell phones, and it’s huge and amazing and terrifying. There’s a floor of cameras, a floor of vacuums and fans, etc, etc. It’s pretty overwhelming.


Wow… It has been quite a month!

The trouble with soju

July 3

My first (real, Korean) meal out takes places, with Anna and Amber from work. Previously, I had been eating only the pre-prepared meat and sushi-type foods from the grocery store. Especially convenient, because after 9:00 these delicious treats are 50% off – and I get off work at 8:50, just enough time to make it to the store for the bargains. Anyway, on the way home from work, the girls decided they wanted to try to restaurant across the street from the block out building is home. I wanted to go home to change my clothes first, because, since I’m still not quite accustomed to the heat and humidity, I had probably sweated through my shirt. Plus, if I was going to make new friends, I wanted to make a good impression, not go around in my grody work clothes. So I go home and change, and then find the way to the restaurant (all by myself!), only to find that Anna and Amber had sat at a table with two other guys… OK… So I went over and said hi, and immediately knew how awkward I was going to be for all parties. Oh well, they invited me first. Anyway, one guy was Korean and one was Russian, Anna is Polish, Amber is American, and I’m Canadian, so we were working the multi-culti at that table. The girls were just eating the food that the guys already had, since you just cook the meat on your table top; they invited me to do the same (this meant that they were going to pay for it too – BONUS!).

Then they got out the soju…

I had heard of soju. Brittany and Alaina had some a few nights before, and they told me that it tasted like watered-down vodka. So, I figured that it was actually similar to vodka, only…you know… watered down. Only later did I find out that soju can be up to 45% (!!) alcohol. But I drank it is if it was, in fact, watered down, since no one told me differently. After several shots at the restaurant, we went to a bar down the street somewhere. This part I seem to have forgotten, except that Amber stopped to have her picture taken with some chicken. Then at the bar I had some more soju, and there was some sort of food dish made with hotdogs – which apparently became quite popular in Korea after the war, when all that the refugees could find in the military bases were hotdogs, and for some reason people still eat them all the time, as if they’re actual food. So after a few more shots, I declared that I thought it was about time I went home, and left. By myself (which means, I guess, that they paid for my drinks too – suckers). Now, I had only been in my apartment for a few days, and still had trouble finding it stone sober, in the daylight. And somehow I managed to get home, in the middle of the night and more than a little tipsy. I did manage, however to fall on the sidewalk, and rip the new pants I had worn “to make a good impression.”

Oops.

Training Day

June 25-27

My first day of training at the school began rather auspiciously… as all my days in Korea have so far. I woke up extra early and got prepared, since I didn’t actually know where the school was, and I was expecting a lengthy search (that’s how I roll here in Korea). But Damon came to my door bright and early, only when I went to answer it, I COULDN’T GET IT OPEN. Even the doors in Korea are hard to use. After literally minutes of fumbling, I finally got it open (the trick: push, unlock, then turn and pull). So we go out on the street, and Henna is there. I guess she didn’t want to come in and say hi – or maybe she did and got impatient and left while I tried to open the door. Either way, there she was, so the three of us set off to school. I watch some classes in the morning, and none of them are the ones I’m actually going to be teaching, which I find pointless, and entirely as I expected it to be. Eventually the fellow I’m replacing, Tom, arrives, and Henna takes us out to lunch at a place across from the school.

So we have to take our shoes off at the restaurant (and I even knew, this time), and sit on the floor to eat. Keeping in mind that I’m fairly enormously tall, its not the most comfortable position, since the table is about six inches off the floor. Also, what we’re eating, Henna tells me is pigs feet, and then she says “Oh, wait, no, it’s not pigs feet.” Which leads me to think that its pigs feet. It tastes ok, but still. Pigs feet. Then back to school to watch more classes. Uneventful, all in all.

Day 2 of training though, wasn’t at school but at the main YBM Sisa building in Jongno-(3)-ga. [Sidebar: I think it’s weird and wonderful that this part of a city has a number in its name. WTF???] The scary part is, I have to get there on my own. I find the bus (after I asked everyone at the school about 100 times), and made it to the station, which I probably would have missed except for every bus in the city is there. I went down into the subway, and (by sheer luck, I’m sure) chose the right direction, and even got off at the right stop. And I even found the right building! But then I went in the door, and ended up in a bank or something. But then I found the right door, and wandered around the place until someone stopped me and asked if I was there for training. This fellow, it turns out, is Sam, who does the training. As far as I can tell, he is Chinese, and he studied English and Chinese in America, and now he lives in Seoul and speaks perfect Korean.

The other people at training are from Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, USA, England, somewhere Eastern European (he was to creepy to get close enough to ask where), and then two of us from Truro. Ha. What are the odds? I actually learn here, as opposed to watching classes at school, and everything is going well, until…. The lunch break OF DEATH. New Zealand, South Africa, America, and Truro x2 found this restaurant called Pent House, and I ordered something called Dancing Fry Noodle, on account of noodles and fried anything are basically the best foods available. The catch, though, is the dancing. This ENORMOUS platter of noodles comes, and it is COVERED with these huge fish flakes, which MOVE. So THAT’s where the name comes from? That is gross as hell. I try to scrape all the fish to the side, but it’s permeated the noodles. So for the rest of the afternoon, I had crazy stomach grumbles (was it still moving in there?), and I felt like I had fish scales all in me.

The rest of training at the main office, and the third day at school all passed terrifyingly, and I took the most enormous stack of books back to the motel to start planning lessons for my first day…

Some local flavor

June 24th

When I finally wake up from an entire day of sleeping, I try to find the motel lady, to find out the address of the motel, so I can get my bags delivered. After trying to explain to her my needs, she just calls her son, who speaks English. After a few minutes he manages to tell me 99-1, and then tries to spell the name of the place. He gets as far as T-O-P-S-H-I-T-L-I-R (before he gives up, and says he’ll just come over. And this whole conversation took about 10 minutes, to get those 10 letters out of him). So he brings me the address, which, it turns out, is Dapsimni. That’s sort of close. Anyhoo, once the lady helps me figure out the phone, I call the Korean Air people, and they tell me that they’ll bring my bags the next day. That was relatively painless! Finally something that went right!

Next I called Alaina, with the number I had gotten from my [approximately] 30 second chat with Mom and Dad. My first try, I ran out of coins, but upon attempt number two, she tells me to meet her and BBro at Dondaemun Stadium Station – take a taxi there, and then I can get a card for the Subway. I head out onto the street to try and find a taxi. They all seem to be on one side of the street, so I go to the corner, and go across to that side. The sidewalk seem to be gated along here, for some reason, so its hard to get a taxi somewhere other than the intersection. By the time I get across the street, the light had changed or something, because all the taxis are gone from here, and are at a different corner. Several attempts later, I stop fooling around and just step into the middle of the street to get a cab. “Dongdaemun Stadium Station,” I say. “Dongdaemun Station?,” he replies. Awesome! He understands English! …Or so I thought. He drops me at Dongdaemun Station, which, of course, is not Dongdaemun Stadium Station. I didn’t realize this, though, until I went down the stairs and back up every exit at the station. And there are a lot. Then I saw some roadsigns that said Dongdaemun Stadium, and followed them, assuming the Station would be at least close. It’s not, particularly. It took a good half hour of walking around the stadium to find it. But I did!

It turns out that Dongdaemun Stadium Station is rather…epic. But somehow BBro and Alaina manage to find me. So we go to McDonalds for lunch. You know… For some of the local flavor. I did actually have a Bulgogi Burger, whatever that is. It was pretty alright. Getting home, though, was an ordeal. BBro and I tried to walk home from… Wherever we ended up, because I thought that with my VAST experience of the city, I’d be able to find a tiny motel in a city of 12 million people. Needless to say, we didn’t. We walked for several hours, stopping in stores every few blocks to ask for directions, and even getting help from randoms on the street. Eventually we called BBro’s director, and she told us to get a cab to Dapsimni Sageory (the junction closest to the motel). And what do you know, about half a block away, there it is!