Bizarro World

It’s been like Bizarro World here lately…..

-First of all, my school installed no less than EIGHTEEN new security cameras. The reason for them, apparently is that a girl was “molested” by another student during the summer camp. Henna wouldn’t tell us who this student was, but she suggested that it “might” be the brother of a kindy student. So everyone clearly knew right away – it was John. Even the teachers who don’t teach John know who he is. But guess who DOES teach him? Oh yes, he’s my one on one. His Mom wanted him to have a one on one because she enrolled him in Carnival 2, even though he didn’t do Carnival 1. Henna says we have to do what she wants because she’s “crazy” (by which she means rich). John’s brother Eric is pretty infamous at school too. He likes to put his hands in his pants, and then smell them. One day, though, while he had his pants in there, he announces “poo poo!” As if he thought I cared.

-Also worthy of note. All the teachers at my school got gift packs for 추석 (Chuseok). At first we thought it was a nice gesture, but then we saw what was in them. 2 toothbrushes, 2 body washes, 2 shampoos, 2 conditioners (ok so far…), 8 bars of soap, and TEN TUBES OF TOOTHPASTE! (WTF!!??) And their tubes of toothpaste are huge! And citrus flavored! Why would they ever think we’d need that much toothpaste? Some of the other teachers at school got wine and other presents from the kids for 추석…I got nothing.

-The other night I was walking home from HomePlus with Naomi teacher when this (drunk) Korean guy staggers over to us, points at me, and mumbles in Korean. Terrifyingly. I run away, and when I’m at a safe distance, I ask Naomi Teacher what he said. “Give me your shirt, it was made by my people.”How right he was, though, my shirt was from the GAP. I wonder how he knew ----

[Speaking of HomePlus, it’s become my home(plus) away from home. I’ve gone there 3 nights this week. But what’s not to love? They sell nunchucks, whole octopuses, electronic toilet seats, and they have a whole aisle of nothing but hotdogs.]

[Added later...Somehow I forgot this]
At school, for the kindergarten kids, we had a "garage sale," and it was the strangest experience of my life. I was working in the "clothing and shoe store" with Nate teacher. Our merchandise consisted of old clothes and shoes that the kids parents gave to the school or whatever (although we fared better than the "grocery store," which sold carrots, eggplants, cucumbers and onions). Anyway, the kids came into the "store" one class at a time, and bought this horrible junk from us -- for a photocopied American dollar (which, by the way, is counterfeiting, and is totally illegal).

After this clusterfuck, we had a sort of cooking class. We were supposed to make Songpyeon, a traditional thing that Koreans eat for Chuseok, the holiday that was coming up. Henna enlisted me to work with the Brown class (which I've never taught), and show them how to make Songpyeon (which I've clearly never made). Luckily Henna did a demo, but she didn't have anything prepared, and she didn't know the recipe -- she just told us to add "some" boiling water to "some" rice flour, add "some" beans, and ... then do something with some pineneedles (???), and then pretended she had done so by rolling a ball of playdough.

As if that wasn't weird enough, she told us about a legend that said that women who make pretty Songpyeon will find a good husband. She asks the kidds if "Henna teacher will find a nice man," and they all shout out "NOOOOOOO." Ha. These kids are awesome. When the time came to actually make the Songpyeon, it went fairly well, except some of the kids were more interested in eating the dough than making them, even though it's just water and rice flour, which I would imagine is... not the best taste.

...Also, I saw two people sharing an electric wheelchair, and a dog wearing shoes. Only in this country...